I’ve had my share of interesting dating stories. So, this post is a series of vignettes. Finally, I can bring you into my world!
I hope you enjoy them. I know my mom loves hearing about all of my escapades.
The Super-Communication Guy
Have you ever met the super-communication guy? (Or person…I’m writing from a female perspective, but I’m sure this applies to both genders).
You know, the guy who texts you every minute desiring constant contact with you? The person who writes, “Hey, are you okay?” when it takes you two minutes to respond?
Hold up, Peeps, this isn’t a judgment but merely an observation.
Lo and behold, I met Mr. Super-communication online, and for the first week, I heard from him approximately every… probably… 30 seconds. He explained how important he felt it was to be attentive to his partner and their needs. After a week, we finally met.
At this point, he turned into a chameleon (and engendered himself as one of my interesting dating stories).
To illustrate, I arrived at the bowling alley before him, which is a turn-off (ironic because I’m frequently late). In the middle of our games, we ordered food and a couple of drinks. He was very thirsty (apparently) and drank his drink quickly.
Following this, I turned toward the lane to bowl. When I finished and headed back to the table, I noticed he had more liquid in his glass. My mistake, I thought.
Fifteen minutes later he said, “Oh, I finished my drink, so I took some of yours.” Say what?
So, when I turned my back to bowl my turn, he poured my drink into his cup. Classy. I’m lucky I didn’t get roofied.
Here are a few things: caring for someone’s general well being (checking in on them, asking about their day, etc.) is lovely. Pretending to care about someone’s general well-being is not.
Moreover, being super attentive isn’t always an indication of a good heart. And finally, careful positioning of drinks while dating can be crucial.
Every way of a man is right in his own eyes, but the Lord weighs the heart (Proverbs 21:2 ESV).
Mr. Over Budget
In the past, I went out with a guy who was a lawyer in DC. We had a nice first date at a coffee shop. Okay, good!
Next, for our second date, he wanted to surprise me and take me to an amusement park. I absolutely love roller coasters! Yay! Thus, we picked a weekend day for the trip.
Subsequently, the week before our “roller coaster date,” I struggled to obtain details from him (should I pack a cooler for lunch?). When I finally heard from him, he inquired if I had a coupon for the park. Uh, no. Ultimately, he canceled the date.
Readers, I get it. He planned an expensive date and maybe something came up financially. But, I’m easy. Heck, I can eat a shoe with enough ketchup. Moreover, I love picnics and crossword puzzles.
Here’s the thing: the first date at the coffee shop was fine. Would an amusement park be fun? Yes! But, we can always go as friends.
I think (and I may be alone here) that taking the time to plan a date is what counts. Showing you have a genuine interest and want to make me feel special goes a long way.
Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life (Proverbs 4:23).
Phone Phobia
Lastly, in the new age of technology, texting has replaced talking.
(insert needle on record sound here).
Not. In. This. House.
Peeps, I love words. With the exception of Larry (my foster cat), I spend more time with words than I do with anyone else! I adore talking and connecting!
Frequently, the men I find do not want to chat on the phone. Some are afraid to speak to me at all! One super-texter stopped texting me because he didn’t want to eventually talk on the phone (what?).
How are we supposed to date if we don’t talk? Won’t the date be worse if we haven’t tried to speak to one another first?
For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them (Matthew 18:20).
Interesting Dating Stories
In conclusion, people are people, I guess. To be honest, though, I gravitate toward something more than I’ve been getting. And, I think that’s okay. I love where I’m at in my life and where I’m headed. That’s not small potatoes.
Oh, and sidebar:
There’s nothing wrong sharing food and drink with someone after you’ve known them a while. However, it seems like an entirely different thing to pour my drink out of my cup when I’m not looking.
(Can you believe it! I’m still flabbergasted!) 🙂
Love,
K.
Oh wow!!! I love these dating stories. I think your doing just fine the way things are. Love you to the moon and back.. my kid.
You’ve heard them all!!!
Do you have it in your profile that you do not like to text? Maybe put something in there to weed out those guys. Be sure to put any more info in your profile that states exactly what you will and will not tolerate as well. I remember from my dating time on the online apps that guys have NO problem with stating exactly what they want (often super model bodies when they apparently haven’t looked in the mirror lately, but that’s another story….) If they generally have confidence, then women should too. Put your deal breakers on your profile. Granted, there will be guys who only go as far as your profile pic and then contact you, but hopefully you can weed them out and not waste your time. When I was online dating, I finally got to the point that I was far happier just hanging out with friends and doing the things I like to do. I guess that’s why I am a believer in meetups versus online dating. So much pressure with online dating. In a Meetup, you get to know the guys as friends first. It was comforting that I knew Jim through CHOA and also had others opinions who knew him and told me what a great guy he was. Good luck! I know it’s a jungle out there!
I’m actually done with online dating (the reason why is my post next week). I stated in my profile that I am old-fashioned and would mention it to men up front in our communication that I’m not a huge texter. As far as dealbreakers, I never listed them in my profile (I never responded to anyone who had such dealbreakers in THEIR profiles) but would have a conversation about it in person. I’m at peace…I love my life! I’m going to write and prepare my house for application into the fostering process. 🙂
When I was dating, dinner was always a good start. Maybe even dinner and dancing.
If only someone would ask me to go dancing! How fun!
I’m shaking my head over these stories, Kelly. I think maybe you had a lucky escape. Hang in there, my friend, and keep praying for God to choose a friend for you (and more than a friend if you choose).
I have specific prayers for the man God has for me! (Though sometimes- with these stories- I feel like a character in a comedy movie!)
I enjoy reading your posts. As a newbie to being single again (my wife of 43 years passed away April 2018), I have recently started dating. A nominal Christian date seemed shocked when I shared upfront some boundaries like the purpose of the date is getting to know each other without any hugging or kissing. They seemed shocked when I opened doors and pulled out the chair for them to be seated. They were also surprised when I didn’t want them to share the cost of the date (I was floored they offered – I am out of touch with the modern world I guess). In other instance, I asked my date to bring her 80 years old mother to dinner with us as a chaperone, While we had known each other online through a writing group for more than a decade but had never met in person. The mother thought this was great. The “date” was surprised at only a side hug at the end of the date. I’m just old-school I guess. I don’t mind being called a “goodie-goodie” or having a “Duggar” dating mentality (Duggar family from 19 Kids and Counting and Counting On). Having been married I know where the hugging and kissing can lead. For me to go where it leads requires a ring, a license, and an I do before God and witnesses.
I am old-school as well, and you’d think I had two heads the way some people respond to Christian dating. But, I trust in God’s plan for my life (and that’s what I’m sticking to).
I’m sorry to hear that you’ve had all these unpleasant dating experiences. But I don’t really see what was so wrong about the fact that the first guy you mentioned poured some of your drink into his glass. You should have just asked him to buy you a new drink. Also, it’s not really a good idea to leave your drink unattended on your first date with a stranger.
I agree with the second part…I won’t leave my drink unattended again! But, it’s poor form to steal your date’s drink. 🙂