Sibling rivalry. Believe me, it is still alive and kicking today.
For example, have you ever had a brother or sister drive you crazy? Obviously, I haven’t. Of course, my brother and sister are amazing. (They both get this blog in an email…).
Seriously though, many of us lock horns with our brothers or sisters and problems crop up. Hence, I would bet that if you have a sibling, you’ve probably had issues with them at some point in your life.
Lately, I’ve been examining a biblical family, Jacob’s, to create a context for looking at modern-day familial relationships. Let’s journey way back (way, way, way back) to the beginning, to the time when Jacob was born (he was a twin!)
Afterward, his brother came out with his hand holding Esau’s heel, so his name was called Jacob (Genesis 25:26 ESV).
So, he grabbed his brother’s heel? Sounds like classic sibling rivalry! In this case, they heatedly battled to be the first out, and Jacob lost. But, it doesn’t end there.
What is the best way to deal with sibling rivalry?
Here’s a little more of the story.
So he [Jacob] went in to his father and said, “My father.” And he said, “Here I am. Who are you, my son?” Jacob said to his father, “I am Esau your firstborn. I have done as you told me; now sit up and eat of my game, that your soul may bless me” (Genesis 27:18-19 ESV).
In the above passage Jacob tricks his father into bestowing a blessing on him that was meant for his brother, Esau. He outright lied! Jacob stole what rightfully belonged to his brother. (Click to read more about Jacob’s family)
Have you ever felt tricked or taken advantage of by a brother or sister?
Maybe a sibling did not divide at the inheritance equally. Maybe someone lied about you in social circles.
Here’s the key: a bad experience is not insurmountable. It is possible to move passed something negative and turn the corner in your relationship.
Let’s look at how Jacob and Esau reunited years later.
And Jacob lifted up his eyes and looked, and behold, Esau was coming, and four hundred men with him. He himself went on before them, bowing himself to the ground seven times, until he came near to his brother.
But Esau ran to meet him and embraced him and fell on his neck and kissed him, and they wept (Genesis 33:1, 3-4 ESV).
Did you see that?
Both of them made amends. Both men put the other first. Jacob knew he was in the wrong and offered penance with gifts as a way to pay back Esau and ask for forgiveness. And, Esau ran ahead to greet his brother because he valued the relationship over the past.
Forgive. Give grace. Roll your eyes and get on with it (if that’s the only option). Whatever it takes. Staying in the middle of a hurt is a great recipe for bitterness and distraction.
In other words, God calls us to reunite in our families, to value the relationship over the controversy, confrontation, and contention. He wants us to treat one another like Jacob and Esau did in the end. It is so easy to focus on who was right and who was wrong at the cost of everything important.
Love, K.
Nice. It made me think of the time dad had you make lunch for me.
Ahhhh, the good old days of being tormented by my little brother. 🙂
I’ve been blessed to have four siblings and further blessed that we get along well. Now, that’s not to say that we haven’t had differences of opinion over the years. But, I happy to say that we’ve been able to always keep our love to the forefront and that’s enabled us to work out disagreements amiably. I’ve seen the tragedy of broken family relationships when pride or money rules over love. Your application of Jacob and Esau’s story to our lives shows us how God continues to teach us important things in all aspects of our lives. Isn’t it awesome that he cares about holding the bonds of family together in a loving, forever relationship?
Yes, and this series has been teaching me an awful lot. Our love and relationships should reflect Christ’s love and desire for relationship with us.
I love the reminder that a bad experience is not insurmountable! I sometimes read Bible passages and think, “wow – they weren’t very bright back in those days” ….. and then I find myself making some of the SAME ridiculous mistakes and decisions! Wow – good thing there’s mercy, grace, and redemption, right? Thank you for sharing!
I know! It’s crazy how some interpersonal issues persist across cultural boundaries and time periods.
This reminder about sibling relationships comes at a very pivotal time for me. Two younger sisters who have done for decades what is spoken about here, is difficult to overlook, and for me to move forward.
I am now working hard with a cancer diagnosis, and its treatment. My outlook could be so much brighter if or when I could attempt to believe that either sister is interested or a little concerned about my ultimate outcome.
Re-reading the story of Jacob and his brother gives me a very slight gleaning to the idea that maybe one of my sisters might come thru…
Yes, I hope they do! But God always will come through for you in the end. Sometimes we have to allow the disappointment to pass and embrace God’s truth, comfort, and love.