Don’t you just want to rip people’s heads off some days? I’ve mentioned this before and I probably will again: sometimes I hate people. Now, maybe that’s harsh, but, truthfully, humanity is exhausting. Literally exhausting. As an introvert, the energy suck from people in the world is overwhelming at times (of course I’m not talking about YOU). BUT, and this is a big one, how I choose to respond is on me, not on all the people in the world. My behavior and my response is my responsibility. Do I want to give a piece of mind or have peace of mind?
Piece of Mind
Let me be honest here and say that sometimes I can be difficult simply because I feel someone skirting around what is right in order to do what is easiest. I know, this is not Christlike, but sometimes I feel the need to take a stand and hold my ground. People get away with too much crap. Sometimes the buck stops here (most times the buck stops here).
And, I believe this is a perfectly reasonable stance to take.
But is giving a piece of my mind robbing my peace of mind?
Over the course of my life, I’ve come to realize that my peace is one of the most valuable things I have. I can’t go giving it away all the time. As a result, I have to let things go and let bygones be bygones. Harboring resentment only affects me. The other person still gets off scot-free.
Peace of Mind
So how do we choose?
For me, I have to determine if speaking and offering accountability as a side product of interacting with me (let’s call this “the usual”) or if not speaking will keep my peace? Honestly, sometimes people shirking their responsibilities is more irksome to me, and I feel more peace saying something. At least, I feel comforted in knowing they are aware of their behavior. I told them, now it’s on them.
I have to weigh this against how I will feel if I overrespond (known to happen, people, known to happen). Honestly, sometimes I’m irritated for outside reasons and looking back on a situation, I wish I had handled the conversation differently. That robs me of my peace, too.
Should we let them have it or should we suck it up?
The answer is: whatever the moment calls for which will allow you to keep your peace.
Maybe you experience discomfort in being vocal (I imagine this can be a problem for some people) or maybe you are a people pleaser by nature. On the flip side, maybe stepping to someone is as second nature to you as breathing.
#truth
Let me get real. I’m so sick of reading stuff on, “this is how you should be.” My therapist is teaching me that I need to acknowledge and accept my emotions as they come.
Not judge them.
Not pretend I’m a better person or feeling something different.
Acknowledge and accept.
So, some days I’ll spout a piece of mind (hopefully in kindness and in love, Amen) and some days I’ll keep my feelings under wraps. EITHER WAY, I’ve decided to keep MY peace in each moment.
Love, K.
Author of Ten Iron Principles, Contributor in The Power to Make a Difference
