Silence Negative Self-Talk: Go Beyond the Inner Critic

I recently had an article published on negative self-talk in Refresh Magazine entitled Silence Negative-Self-Talk: Go Beyond the Inner Critic. Despite the confidence you might see in the photos, I’ve struggled (and still do) with self-worth for the majority of my life.

The bulk of the article is posted here. For questions to study and a prayer of freedom from self-talk, visit the magazine site (Page 24 of the magazine, page 13 of the PDF).

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My life changed when I became a runner.

Despite the immense health benefits of exercise, the biggest draw of running for me was I could outrun my inner critic.

In fact, my whole life I’ve suffered from self-loathing. A voice filled my head with incessant chatter:

“You’re not good enough.”

“Your thighs are too fat.”

“You shouldn’t have said that. You sounded stupid.”

During my college years, the voice pummeled my spirit until I could no longer stand up under the heavy blows and depression ensued. However, as I aged, the critic enmeshed himself in the fabric of my life. He was as commonplace as brushing my teeth, and I hardly noticed that I listened to his every word.

(Enter a pastime of running.)

As I ran further and further (I’m a distance runner), I realized that I could drop the critic. Fatigue overcame me, and I needed everything inside me to keep moving forward. Everything.

And, the critic’s voice stopped.

On the roads, I found freedom! I could escape from my own self-talk. Because that’s really who the critic was…he was me, my negative self-talk.

You don’t need to run to improve your inner monologue. A decade later, I’ve come to know my worth in God. But, knowing isn’t enough. My tendency (and maybe yours, too) is to lean toward the path of negative self-talk.

How can we overcome this?

1. “You’re not good enough.”

I don’t have to worry about being “good enough” because Jesus was good enough in my place. Hallelujah! And, because of His sacrifice, I know with certainty that I am loved beyond all limits (a love I could never deserve and which will never wane).

Reading God’s Word on a daily basis is a good start to fortifying a foundation based on God’s love. It seems oversimplified, however, the benefit is real. No one learns Spanish by practicing once a year or even once a week. You have to be “in” the topic to absorb and understand it.

When you spend time in the Bible, focus on what God says about His children. Highlight any area you come across which speaks about who God says you are. Or better yet, memorize a few key verses. When you feel your negative critic coming to life, go back and read the highlighted verses. Contrary to how you may feel, the critic isn’t right. God cornered that market a long time ago.

For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord (Romans 8:38-39 ESV).

2. “Your thighs are too fat.”

Comparison is death. Now, I may have big thighs (as I said, I’m an endurance runner), but compared to whom? Who sets the standard? God? I never found that passage in the Bible.

Do you want to tone down negative self-talk? Then maybe we need to limit what we put in front of our faces. Social media and television paint unrealistic pictures of what we should look like and who we should strive to be.

Take an Instagram holiday for a month, choosing to read inspirational books or even fiction. There are other ways to “veg out” without feeding the critic. Substitute a useful and practical TV show for The Bachelor (you get the idea).

So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them (Genesis 1:27 ESV).

3. “You shouldn’t have said that. You sounded stupid.”

Why, oh, why do we care so much about what others think? A lot of negative self-talk comes from imagining what others think about us. If I put forth the effort into my writing craft that I do into worrying about what others think, I’d have published a dozen books by now!

Listen, people will love you or they won’t. Basing how you feel about yourself on how others treat you is a recipe for disaster. People are fallible. Honestly, “they” are probably too busy worrying about how “they” look to think about you at all.

Spend time noticing your strengths and make a list in a journal. Even if you can only find a few things you like about yourself (it gets easier over time), write those down and say a prayer of thanks. Do this on a daily basis to grow your positive self-talk.

The fear of man lays a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is safe (Proverbs 29:25 ESV).

Check out the full article HERE, including the conclusion, questions to study, and a prayer for freedom from self-talk. (Page 24 of the magazine, page 13 of the PDF).

Love, K.

-K.A. Wypych, Contributor to Refresh Magazine and Author of Ten Iron Principles