To let go of control in a situation or in life is one of THE most difficult things to do. Most. Difficult. I know because I ran 100 miles, completed back-to-back Ironman races, and climbed a mountain, but despite that, I don’t have enough discipline to let go of control (well, I CAN let go, but then I pick it back up again about five seconds later).
In my book, Ten Iron Principles, I outline this concept of letting go in the first Iron Principle entitled You Are Not the Driver. My book is a memoir about perseverance and gives ten tips for getting through tough spots. Let me break down the first principle for you.
You Are Not the Driver
You Are Not the Driver starts with how we view ourselves. For example, I live in this delusion that I’m the best person to man the steering wheel when it comes to… well… everything (haha, so true, right?). And, in some cases, I may even be a pretty good candidate, however I don’t have enough mojo to best God. God trumps me at every turn.
So, why do I try to control things?
Often times, I seek control out of fear (who’s with me on this one?). Now fear and I have a pretty good relationship in many ways. When fear comes at me head on, I throw my right cross (or left hook… depending) with all the gusto I have. But, that’s when fear approaches head on.
However, if fear creeps up on me in the form of insidious insecurities, a bout of depression, or a peppering of anxiety, I’m at its mercy more often than not. I get dropped to the floor because I didn’t see the sucker punch coming. By the time I recognize fear for what it is, my soul has a black eye and a bloody lip and the consequences exact a toll on my life.
So, I need to step back and let go of my grip.
How will this benefit me?
Let Go of Control
The benefits from when you let go of control are pretty significant…things like peace, a sharing of responsibility, and knowing the best possible outcome is occurring. Not small potatoes, eh?
Peace
Guys, guys, guys. Keeping control means work…work to keep things afloat, incessant planning and thinking, constantly running scenarios and reactions through your head… Believe me, I’m not advocating a lack of planning in your life; I love planning. I excel at planning. Hear me now, having control (even though that’s an illusion) means working to keep that control (even if its not real).
It means fretting, gripping, and trying to get others to do things your way (if I had a way to make people cede to my will, I’d be set for life). To let go of control is to free your mind to think about other things…things you’re grateful for, dreams you have, or ways to reach your biggest goal. Or you can read a book for fun or put together a puzzle. Having control takes energy and brain power
Be still, and know that I am God (Psalm 46:10).
Responsibility
I don’t know about you people, but I love it when my friends plan outings. Then, I don’t have to worry about if everyone has fun or the logistics of getting from here to there. Why? Because someone else is responsible.
The same goes in life. To be clear, I’m not telling you to spend the rest of your life on a couch letting others do things for you. However, I am saying that God is a more responsible caretaker than you are. God has got this. And because of who He is, because of His character, He is a better caretaker than we are.
For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb (Psalm 139.13).
Best Possible Outcome
No matter how you slice it, God’s plans are better than our own. Think about it, He creates a sunrise every morning. Can we do that?
The thing about God is that He isn’t reactionary, doesn’t respond emotionally, or let circumstances get the best of Him. Human beings do ALL of those things. To let go of control means to give God the reigns to do His best.
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose (Romans 8:28).
In summary, the best reasons to let go of control are because 1) you really don’t have control anyway. Anyone in your life could be gone in an instant. Your house and finances could vanish in a natural disaster or market crash. And 2) God is the best person for the job. Humans fall sway to every faulty belief and emotion. God consistently has His head in the game.
Okay, so that’s my bit for this week. Love you.
K.
Author of Ten Iron Principles, Contributor in The Power to Make a Difference
Yes, I’m a little too familiar with the illusion of control too. But God keep s placing me in positions where there can be no delusions, even with me, it appears to be a crucial lesson to learn. Thanks for your encouragement Kelly.