Without doubt we can’t change or grow if we hide our flaws or pretend they don’t exist. We will continue in the same patterns obtaining the same results. So, I’m revealing my struggles in my blog as a way to keep myself honest. I’m finishing up a series on frustration to teach myself patience. To that end, this week the focus is on how I align thoughts with purpose.
In this series, I’ve learned to recognize when frustration occurs (the physical signs), pinpoint what is upsetting me (the trigger behavior), and shift my perspective (place myself in the other person’s shoes).
Now what?
I need to creatively and intentionally redirect my thinking to align with my purpose.
To illustrate, a friend and I talked recently about our “superhero selves” or the way we see our inner person in our mind’s eye. These amazing heroes always say and do the right things. My superhero-self is humble, kind, and only speaks up (with complete wisdom) when necessary. Ha!
While I will never be my superhero self, I can work to ensure my actions contribute to God’s purpose for me, which is as follows:
God teaches me courage and perseverance through events in my life, so I can share with others.
How is yelling at traffic furthering my purpose? It’s not. That’s why this blog series is so important to me.
Align Thoughts
How do I go about re-aligning myself? By asking a quick few questions.
Is the other person’s behavior:
Harming someone else in any way?
Impeding my path to a goal?
Affecting my ability to share with others?
If not, then I redirect my thoughts back to my purpose.
“Even though that person cut me off, I’ll get to work on time just the same.”
If yes, then I need to get the situation back on track with my purpose.
“Let me move into my bedroom to write so I’m not disturbed by the people outside.”
“My coworker felt discouraged from that situation. Let me see if I can help.”
It’s a lot of letting go. Holding onto the small stuff saps energy I could use for important things.
Accordingly, I’m tired of wasting time and energy focusing on what doesn’t matter. I need to let go of what doesn’t affect my purpose.
To recap:
If someone or a situation frustrates you:
- Stop. Catch yourself before responding in a negative way. Pray and vent your emotions.
- Figure out what is the specific trigger in their behavior and what personal trait makes you sensitive to it.
- Put yourself in their shoes. Change your perspective.
- Figure out if this affects God’s purpose in your life. Strive to align thoughts with purpose.
However, what if you don’t know your purpose? Well, you can find that here.
That’s it for now on frustration. I’ve loved all of the comments and hearing about how you deal with annoyances. It’s been encouraging to know that I’m not alone.
Goodbye, frustration! I feel more zen already.
Love,
K.
Author of Ten Iron Principles, Contributor in The Power to Make a Difference
Great article. So true and helpful. If more people were mindful instead of just working on autopilot the world might be a different place. It’s people like you that make a difference and can awaken a light in others. You are the light! Well done!
Thank you! As a culture, we definitely need to come off autopilot. I thinks it’s the enemy’s way of hemming us in. 🙂
I want to be your “super-hero self!” That’s a wonderful goal and with your suggestions, we can at least move in that direction. I’m on the road a lot and I get that urge to yell at drivers that do dangerous things. I’m working on this frustration. Loved your advice about letting go of the things that don’t matter. The problem, of course, is really being willing to put some of those actions we view as important into the “doesn’t matter” category. I’m still working on that one, too. Looking forward to your series on finding purpose.
Yes, that is the big struggle! Frustrations and irritations can SEEM so important in the heat of the moment. The key for me is taking a few seconds to recognize what’s happening and re-prioritize.
It is a lot of letting go. But we are unloading the unnecessary to make room for better things. ?
Yes, we have to let go. Otherwise, it’s impossible to move forward.
Those 3 questions to ask yourself are really great. Aligning our thoughts with His perspective–yes! Personally, I’ve found that concentrating on my own humility, on putting others’ needs ahead of my own, has helped me reduce frustration. Maybe that’s part of His perspective.
Yes! Putting the interests of other’s ahead of ourselves and seeing things from their perspective was the topic of my last post!