Barriers and Boundaries: Reaching the Finish Line

Welcome to the last video in this series! So far we’ve looked at goal setting, establishing milestones, and putting your plan to work. Next, we’ll look at how barriers and boundaries are of the utmost importance when it comes to your goal, specifically overcoming barriers and setting boundaries. Doing both things creates the space you need to work toward your goal.

Barriers and Boundaries

Before we begin, something to keep in mind is that everything has a season. Therefore, what is appropriate for life (with a particular goal) at this point may not be appropriate down the road, ie, different things may be priorities now than are later on. That’s okay. It’s how life works.

Barriers

Can’t/Won’t

The biggest barrier (no matter if your goal is opening your own business or renovating a room) is the Can’t/ Won’t phenomenon. Most of the time when people say they can’t do something, what they REALLY mean is that they won’t do something.

Think about it, saying “I can’t do it” puts the onus out in the world. Somewhere, somehow there is a limitation out in the atmosphere preventing us from achieving our goal.

However, when we say, “I won’t do this,” that puts the accountability back on us. Instead of the limitation being out there in the world, it’s right here where we are.

Let’s go through an example.

Recently, I painted my deck (a 30+ hour project which overwhelmed me at times). It would have been easy to say, “I can’t spend 30 hours painting my deck” and bagged the whole project. But, is that REALLY true? Nope. I used “I can’t” because it’s unpalatable to think about spending 30 hours (most of which was on my tiptoes on a ladder) painting deck boards.

The truth is when I say, “I can’t spend 30 hours painting my deck,” what I actually mean is that, “I won’t do it” or “I don’t want to do it.” Saying “can’t” implies there is some reason I’m incapable of completing the task. “Won’t” means I don’t feel like making the sacrifice in order to achieve the goal.

The first barrier to reaching your goal is mislabeling “I won’t do this” with “I can’t do this” in order to let yourself off the hook.

Not Good Enough

Ever felt not good enough? Welcome to the club, people. Many times we talk ourselves out of chasing a goal, thinking we don’t have what it takes.

“I’m never going to be good enough to get there.”

“I don’t have it inside of me.”

These. Are. Lies. Lies that keep us from taking risks and stepping out of our comfort zones. This is the second barrier to achieving your goals. Let me tell you frankly that if you weren’t capable of developing the necessary tools to reach your dream, God would not have placed it in your heart.

Yet, it’s so easy for people to undersell themselves and let go of something they really want because of negative self-talk. It’s important to keep tabs on what types of words you’re speaking into your own life.

That book… That company… That ministry… God has a purpose for it and people you’re supposed to reach.

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11 NIV).

Boundaries

Good, Better, Best

Boundaries are so important for personal growth and success with goals. I had to learn boundary-setting during Ironman training because the time demands were so great. I drove myself right into the ground before I went to friends for guidance and help.

After a breakdown on my friend’s living room floor (prior to the aforementioned guidance and help), I developed a system of “good, better, best.” So, what does that mean? Well, it’s simple (not easy but simple). Many things in my life are good, some things are better, but what is best for this time in my life?

As an example, when training for the 100-mile ultramarathon, I cut out volunteering. I didn’t eliminate volunteer work because volunteering is bad. Honestly, I love it! And, I think serving is worthwhile and important.

However, on my days off from running, I needed to be resting. On the other days, I had to run or work. Certain tasks had to be completed in order to make it to my goal. Ergo (great word), some things were cut out with the potential to add them back into my life at a later date.

This goal is just a season. Consequently, it’s important to identify key components and prioritize those using “good, better, best.”

Just Say No

Some things in life form impediments to our goals. They can be deterrents, and we need to “just say no.” Going out late at night wasn’t something I could do while training for my ultramarathon because I required lots of sleep and was perpetually dehydrated. I had to get rest in order to get up the next morning to run 4-6 hours.

So, hanging out at a bar late in the evening wasn’t a good idea for me. Some things I walked away from in order to achieve my goal.

Bottom Line

Identifying your biggest barriers (which are likely some of the ones I mentioned) and being able to set boundaries will help you to reach your goal.

Love you,

K.

Originally published 4/23/18