The Blind Date: When Three’s a Crowd

Welcome to the third post on this series of bad date stories. We’ve seen the Hippy, Mr. Crab Dip (I still feel bad for him), and next up we have the blind date and a situation I like to refer to as “Three’s a crowd.”*

* All names have been changed because being sued isn’t on my bucket list.

The Blind Date

Once upon a time, a lovely girl lived on the West Coast named Andrea. She had been dating a guy for a while but they ended up parting ways. On account of this, Andrea’s friends at work worried about her and were bothered that she was alone. So, they decided to set her up with someone.

Accordingly, she didn’t know where the guy, Daniel, came from or anything about him. Further, she couldn’t track him on social media because those types of platforms didn’t exist. She was also not afforded the chance to speak to him on the phone beforehand. In summary, the only things she knew were his name, that he was around 29 years old, and the place they were supposed to meet (a T.G.I.F. type of restaurant).

It sounds like the beginning of a great tragedy. (*me rubbing my hands together*)

No one apprised her of what he would be wearing, but Andrea is a friendly, bold soul, and this concerned her little. Thus, she walked in and approached a nice-looking man sitting at the bar.

“Are you Daniel?”

(Seems like a harmless enough start.)

The man looked at her but didn’t answer. Instead, a woman next to the nice-looking man at the bar said, “Yes, he is.”

Andrea’s eyes bounced back from one to the other.

The woman continued, “I’m his sister.”

Oh. Right. That makes total sense.

However, Andrea wasn’t shaken and questioned, “Why are you here?” Mind you, Daniel had yet to say a word.

The sister explained, “Mom insisted I come with him.” Even better. A man who understands the importance of family.

Threesome

Daniel was a man of few words. Andrea remembers him as sweaty and mostly silent for the duration of the date. He would occasionally talk, but, if any time lapsed, his sister would jump in and answer for him.

Andrea said, “What do you do, Daniel?”

Silence.

The sister replied, “He has an Associate’s Degree in Engineering.”

Andrea wrote the date off at this point. I don’t even think there is such a thing, she thought.

She had sized him up in the first 1.5 minutes of the date, but she thought he was nice and not bad looking, so she had kept her options open… until the Associate’s Degree in Engineering comment (a quick google search revealed that an “engineering technician” can work with an Associate’s Degree but advanced engineering positions require at least a Bachelor’s Degree).

He was a quiet guy with an overbearing sister and a likely overbearing mother (who sends their kid on a date with his sister?).

The waitress came by and Andrea ordered. Daniel sat silently and his sister helped him pick something off of the menu. She also ordered for herself (a girl’s got to eat).

The awkward conversation with the sister/ Daniel continued.

The Clock Winds Down

At the end of the date, the waitress brought the bill. Daniel sat stoically, and the sister began rooting around in her purse. Not believing what she was seeing, Andrea said, “I got it,” and paid for dinner… for all three of them.

After she took care of the check, Andrea displayed a little spunk and decided to throw a fastball.

“You’re a really nice guy. Do you think we could have a second date?”

Daniel turned and looked at his sister.

Andrea continued, “Without your sister?”

Daniel stared blankly.

“I thought so.”

She told them both that she needed to use the restroom and then waited for them to leave. As Andrea headed to her car, she thought, Did that really just happen?

When she went back to work, her friends asked how the date went and laughed when they heard the story. Looking back, Andrea felt he was a nice enough guy but was socially awkward, “like Urkel” and a, “deer in headlights.” She says that with Doordash and Amazon, there is a strong possibility Daniel still lives in his mother’s basement.

Interestingly, Andrea got back together with the guy she had originally been dating, and they’ve been married for over two decades.

A couple of things here…

First, maybe Daniel was on the spectrum or maybe he just was really awkward in social situations. I’m not sure, but I feel for him. How awful that his family pushed him so hard to date! At the very least, they should have encouraged him to take his blind date to the movies where he wouldn’t have to talk a lot. I mean, bringing your sister?

Second, if he really wanted to date, other options exist besides bringing a sibling along. How many dates did the sister plan on being in attendance? (“Hey, do you want to come over for dinner? My sister is making pasta.”) At the very least, they could have had the date in a group setting or at an event with friends.

Finally, this blind date story is why I prefer to speak to someone on the phone and not just text prior to meeting them. You can learn an incredible amount about a person by listening to their pattern of conversation. Do they only talk about themselves? Are they someone who interrupts? Do they contradict themselves? Or in this case, do they talk?

Oy vey.

There are all kinds floating in the dating pool. A friend once said, “There’s a lid to every pot.” I hope finding your lid is a bit easier than this blind date story.

Love, K.

Author, Ten Iron Principles

,