Sometimes the path stretches long and winding as I gaze back on my childhood and middle child syndrome.
What exactly is middle child syndrome?
Well, I’m glad you asked. Wikipedia remarks:
Middle child syndrome is the feeling of exclusion by middle children (those with one younger and one older sibling). This effect occurs because the first child is more prone to receive privileges and responsibilities (by virtue of being the oldest), while the youngest in the family is generally considered the “baby”. The second (or middle child) no longer has their status as the baby and leaves them with no “clear role” in the family, or a feeling of being “left out”. Despite being used to explain a child’s behavior, middle child syndrome is not actually a “clinical disorder”.
Okay, then. Let’s break this down.
To clarify, Wikipedia describes how my mom caused a cascade of events when she birthed my sister first. My elder sibling received the first accolades and established my parents’ patterns for child rearing
Enter the Middle Child
Subsequently, I entered into existence. As the baby, my parents celebrated me as the newest creature at home. I stole the limelight, at least, until my brother arrived. Once he showed up, he arose as the new, forever novelty (boo, hiss) as my parents ceased childbearing. Ultimately, my brother displaced me.
Next, let’s examine this explanation to another level. My inner “strength,” let’s call it, is a direct effect of my birth order placement. My birth order created a circumstance which “happened” to me and thus cultivated my personality.
So basically, I’m stubborn because my mom had my sister first and my brother last (I always knew it was their fault!).
The Birth Order Made Me Do It
However, I refuse to think my personality stems solely from my birth order.
I mean, isn’t it possible that the remarkable middle child mentality exhibited across families is something chosen rather than imposed?
Could middle children, even at incredibly young ages, display exceptional shrewdness in order to bypass the traditional birth order?
Stuck in the Middle
As a child, I persevered to complete the construction of the newest Lego extravaganza though my siblings moved onto other things. I took charge when we played restaurant, and functioned as the architect of our yard leaf houses.
In conclusion, I sprouted into a young leader. I preferred things my own way and saw them through to the end.
Noticeably, I fancied the eldest role embedded with privilege and responsibility despite that it was endlessly out of my reach.
Were my defiance and assertiveness secondary to my birth order or because I learned I could steal the show? You see, I think middle child syndrome is a type of emotional mutiny against older siblings. Furthermore, did I artfully constructed my middle child role as an offensive strategy to secure my status as queen of the Legos and leaf houses?
Something to ponder.
Dearest blog readers, welcome to the musings of this middle child.
Love, K.
Author of Ten Iron Principles, Contributor in The Power to Make a Difference
