I’m doing a blog series on frustration (because it’s cheaper than therapy) to help me become more “fluid” in my life. In order to truly move past frustration and into the land of peace, I need a perspective shift.
In part one and two of this series, I expanded on how I need to recognize when I’m becoming upset and pinpoint the cause and potential patterns. While this sounds ridiculously easy, in the heat of the moment it’s easy for me to miss.
Over the last few weeks, I wrote and thought a ton about this topic, and I’ve become more aware. The several times frustration overcame me, I didn’t recognize it until after the episode was over and I had face-planted in the situation. Not ideal.
Clearly, recognition alone isn’t enough. As God works to change my heart, I must figure out how to stop reacting to my frustration triggers.
How?
My third step is to alter my perspective.
Immediately upon sensing frustration, I need to put myself in the other person’s shoes. It’s easy to see things entirely from my own vantage point and miss the circumstances which may affect someone else.
In all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight (Proverbs 3:6 NIV).
By the same token, my crooked path leans in my own favor; this is human nature. Each of us creates our own crooked path, recognizable and familiar to only us.
I need to open my eyes to other scenarios and facets within every situation- a perspective shift.
Perspective Shift
One day I was in the grocery store, and the lady in front of me in the checkout line turned her back to me after I greeted her. In my mind I thought, Maybe she just had a fight with her husband or her kid got in trouble at school.
I don’t know if those things were true. However, I can guarantee her behavior had nothing to do with me and everything to do with things going on in her life. I let it go.
Widening the lens in which I view my own circumstances creates room for grace toward others.
After all, when I make a mistake, I desire others to show me grace.
Because judgment without mercy will be shown to anyone who has not been merciful. Mercy triumphs over judgment (James 2:13).
Hence, I don’t have to understand everyone or accept poor behavior on a routine basis, but I am called to prioritize mercy to those with whom I have friction.
A fine line exists between holding one’s ground against a wrongdoing and extending mercy. But, I do think it’s possible to do both.
Next time I get upset, I hope I recognize the signs, can point to what specifically bothers me, and immediately undergo a perspective shift and allow for grace.
Fingers crossed!
Love,
K.
Author of Ten Iron Principles, Contributor in The Power to Make a Difference
One of my mottos in life is to treat people the way I want thy I be treated. I work with the public, you never where people are coming from.. love your writing.
Yes, the Golden Rule is invaluable. We can never truly know another person’s heart.
Something we all need to work on.
It’s definitely something I need to work on!
I think this an admirable and honest way to deal with frustration and anxiety. Talking it out, writing down your thoughts and getting a fresh perspective will definitely help you sort things out.
I’m working on making my life more productive and decreasing the energy waste on things which are unimportant.
I definitely needed to read this post. I tend to get frustrated fairly easily these days.
Me, too! It’s a busy world and very easy to get caught up in it all.
Mercy triumphs over judgment! Oh, I’m so thankful. I’ve been doing some writing on the same topic (controlling frustration and anger and learning to react in appropriate ways). Thank you for the reinforcement. It’s helpful to know that others are fighting the same battles (and making progress).
Thank you for your encouragement! It’s so disheartening to see myself fail and succumb to frustration in certain circumstances. It’s nice to know I’m not alone!
I love your grocery store example. I am working on shifting my perspective because normally in that situation I would have told myself she’s a jerk and that’d be the end of that, lol. Wonderful post.
Thank you! Often times, I have a tendency to react poorly, but I think the example makes a good point: how she acts says a lot about her and how I respond says a lot about me.
Yes, I always try to see the bigger picture before judging any situation. You never know what someone is going through.
That’s a great attitude. I’m working on it!
I like the way you look at this. I am always saying hello to people in my neighborhood and sometimes they do not respond.
My first reaction is usually to feel insulted, but I’ve grown to see that it really isn’t about me.
I know that the right perspective or changing perspective is very important not to get upset all the time. In my case love has helped me to improve my mood, as I keep focusing on more pleasant things. 🙂
Yes, it’s definitely about having love for others and letting that supersede our emotions.
I just want to say life is beautiful and beautiful is all over. Perspective in your pictures is simply amazing!
Putting yourself in the other persons shoes really does make a huge difference in the way we see things. As for myself, I write in a journal. I write down what frustrates me, how I responded and what I could have done differently to change the outcome of how I felt at that moment. I look back on what I’ve written before and I see how things have changed. I dont get as frustrated at what now seems to be trivial issues. It truly opens the eyes 🙂
This is great! I write down feelings as a way of releasing them.
Thinking about perspective and giving grace are excellent tips for frustration. Thank you, Kelly.
I think extending grace is rarely a bad idea.
Getting frustrated can be relieving at the moment but eventually has consequences so I’ll go for actually altering your perspective before making a fuss about everything.
Yes, reacting can have consequences. Don’t I know it! 🙂
Somebody once told me, ‘what other people think of you is none of your business.’ That lady at the checkout may have just been grumpy, or was judging you, but no matter what – you don’t have to make excuses for them. Let people think what they may. I love this post, it’s very introspective and honest, and you’re absolutely right – we need to put ourselves in other people’s shoes more often. As the saying goes, ‘everybody has something going on their lives.’ 🙂
My focus is being the best me and being more productive in life. Seeing things from another vantage point frees me from holding on to the offense.
I have never thought about perspective in this manner. Very enlightening.
I feel a perspective shift can benefit multiple situations.
I would love to work on this myself. You have given me a different perspective.
It’s important to be open to what others may be going through.
I am a fairly patient person but every once in a while I just don’t understand people’s attitude. It is always good to take a step back and not take it to heart
I agree, and I’m not a very patient person! I think we all have room to grow.
This is a great post! It resonates with me– a lot! I tend to put myself in someone else’s shoes before I react. Loved this: I don’t have to understand everyone or accept poor behavior on a routine basis… Yes it is important to have mercy, but it is also extremely important to protect my energy; first! Balance 🙂
Yes, balance! I wanted to be clear that I’m not advocating tolerance of poor repetitive behavior.
I am working on changing my perspective, but it is hard when you are a naturally negative person.
I think it’s difficult for everyone. The key is to recognize when negativity ramps up and intentionally try to change your thinking.
Altering your perspective is hard but definitely worth it! It makes a huge difference
It’s changed me over the last few weeks!
This is so great. I think your perspective on things can really change the outlook on a situation.
Yes, it alters your thoughts and emotions in a particular circumstance.
Its always good for us all to do a perspective shift. Sometimes we look at things in the worst possible way from a one person point of view which is our own but there is always an alternate way of looking at any situation for clarity or not to make assumptions for the worst.
I know I frequently look at things from the worst angle or outcome and react even before the situation occurs. I’m working on that! Thanks for sharing!