Dating can be a circus. Dating as a Christian single can be even worse. I swear I hear the ringmaster standing on his box yelling, “Bring in the Clowns!”
I’m enduring the rigors of online dating because I feel God has a person for me. But, I feel I shouldn’t sit around waiting for FedEx to deliver him to my front door (What if I wasn’t home? They’d have to leave one of those slips…).
So, I’m spending time doing activities I enjoy, volunteering, AND online dating.
In my experience, God usually requires some effort on my part as far as my dreams and goals are concerned. Thus, I settled on the manufactured enterprise known as online dating (like processed foods and manufactured housing… why not love?).
Consequently, I sometimes wish God would beam down my soulmate straight into my church like Star Trek. But alas, God’s doesn’t seem to work this way.
Dating as a Christian Single
At times, finding my person seems an impossible task. But, I press on and hold onto the prayer that the guy I marry adds more to my life instead of subtracts from it. After all, I’ve been with Mr. Subtraction before…in fact, I’ve dated Mr. Subtraction, Mr. Division, Mr. Negative Number… believe me, the list goes on.
Therefore, I’m trying the online world of love. I’m signed up and involved.
I registered for the circus.
The results of dating as a Christian single?
The biggest surprise?
Never in my formative years did I think that being able to spell (along with punctuation and capitalization) would be part of my dating criteria. (smile)
How can I expect to find someone worthy of my heart when people can’t hit the Spellcheck button? (what a world, what a world…). 🙂
But, really folks…
Here’s the crux of it:
I’m struggling to find someone with whom I share some of the same priorities.
My number one priority is my relationship with Jesus.
In other words, it’s important to me to be able to share my faith with my future spouse because God plays such a pivotal role in my life.
I’ve received a variety of replies from would-be online Casanovas when I ask about God. Here are a few:
1. “I’m spiritual but not religious.”
This response used to cause me to probe further. For instance, “Do you have an active, growing relationship with God? Do you have a faith support group?” (or something conversational along these lines). Most often, this phrase seems to mean they are neither spiritual nor religious (at least, in my experience).
2. “I have a strong relationship with God but don’t go to church.”
Similarly, I was open to this idea when one fella sent this message my way. I don’t want to assume everyone’s faith-life looks the same as mine. Hence, my response was something like, “So what do you do grow your faith?”
He responded, “Basically, nothing.” Okay, then.
3. Crickets.
Hey, I’m upfront about how important my relationship with God is to avoid any contention down the road.
Truthfully, I never want the awesomeness of my personal relationship with God to be viewed negatively in my future marriage. In fact, I desire for my heart and soul to be valued (and not simply tolerated).
2 Corinthians 6:14 Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?
So then, how should I categorize myself?
SWF = Single white female. Too race biased, too generic.
CSF = Christian single female. Too potentially milennial.
CSAW = Christian single adult woman. That’s it!!
C-SAW. Seesaw (describes my dating life to a tee…). My self-proclaimed moniker. 🙂
Perfect! I’m officially a member of the circus.
***
Join me through the next three weeks of this series as I explore the pits and pitfalls of dating as a Christian single. I’ve learned some surprising other things I’ll be sharing over the next several weeks!
Love your favorite CSAW,
K.
I think this is one of my fave posts to date!! (No pun intended.)
Haha! Thank you!
I am already loving this series blog!! ❤️
It’s a reality in this day and age!!!
This is a timely article for me. I am a sixty-five years old widower. With my wife passing away last April I find loneliness my biggest challenge, Recently, I have started dining with some single female friends I have known for years. I have told them upfront this is not a “date.” Rather, this is two friends dining together for companionship. I said at this time I am not looking for a relationship, wife, etc. I told them no hand holding, no hugging or kissing, and no honeymooning. At this point, I’m interested in companionship. I have had some ladies in my Christian writer’s group ask me if I am on Christian Mingle. I had no idea what that was. I guess there are different challenges for different ages. I have grown children who caution me to “beware of the gold diggers” since I have a paid for house, pension, and social security as well as my meager writing income. When a young adult, I only dated people I knew from my church (an ultimately married one of them). Things have changed. Scary clowns are all I see when the thought of dating crosses my mind. Maybe that’s why at least for now, companionship over a meal is enough.
Scary clowns indeed! I’m sorry to hear about the loss of your wife. I agree with you the companionship is important. And, you are very upfront with people. We all need community, friends, and support. I hope you make many great friends!
Oh my! I remember those days all too well! I love that you have set height standards and that you are keeping a sense of humor about it!
Praying that God brings a man into your life who loves God more, and values the real you! ❤️
Oh, Loretta. I have to keep a sense of humor! Thanks for your prayers! God has blessed me with an awesome life!
I understand your dilemma. I tried various online sites for a few years, & rarely found anyone sharing my values & theology & priority of Christ. Being single-again after a 30 yr marriage is very different & for now am fine staying single. I do miss conversation with men, as most groups I am in tend to be women only. Even at work I am mostly around women!
So, will look forward to your blogs & see what you experience on this journey.
I am fine staying single, too. I do pray about finding my person, so I felt I should do something to take me in that direction. But, it is definitely a circus!
Thanks for being so open and sharing about the woes of trying to find a Godly Christian man. They seem to be few and far between, and most of the ones I do know are married. I’ve literally started praying that God would bring Godly men into existence. Satan wants to destroy families and societies by cutting off men from the Source of Life. I will pray with you on your journey as you find God as the Lover of your soul and pray for Him to grow men in Christ (and one for you).
“I’ve literally started praying that God would bring Godly men into existence.” Right? I know so many great, single, godly women. Maybe we do need to be in prayer for the men of this nation…
Love you sense of humor and applaud your weeding out those that don’t share your faith. Who wants to sign up for heartache and disappointment?
Right? Not me. I want my partner to value my relationship with God!