So, let me just be real for a minute here. I’ve been struggling a lot with the stress of my job and COVID-19 and the lack of social support in quarantine. My soul is weary. I’m tearful at times and have felt despair. Should I be praying for more love?
It’s difficult because so much is going on for so many people. I get it. But, my reality was that I didn’t hear from hardly anyone, my co-workers’ schedules are all spread out and I only see a few of them, friends are fighting their own battles, and I’m trying to take care of my parents and keep them safe. Yet, I continued to check in on the people in my life, asking about their days… sometimes they responded and sometimes not. But, no one asked about my day (I know, boo hoo, right?)
During my pity party, I reminded myself that I had played phone tag with a friend and some others did text but hadn’t gotten back to me. Kelly, it’s not that bad.
But, I still felt hollow… the kind of emptiness that happens when you find yourself not getting your tank filled (whether that’s real or perceived…is another story and not my point here).
Praying for More Love
So, I prayed about it. Here’s the thing: God is counterintuitive when you really dig in and study Him. For instance, Israel expected a warlord leader and instead got a baby in a manger. Jesus said to love your enemy and forgave the people who hung Him on the cross while He was still up there. He taught that to receive you have to give. That kind of thing.
So, I prayed and “counterintuitive” again came to mind, and I thought, What would be the counterintuitive prayer here?
Lord, send me more people to love.
I felt maxed out and needed consoling, and thus the opposite thing to pray for would be more jobs, more people to love, and more hands to hold. So, I did.
Dear Lord, please send me more people to love. If you provide the love and the strength, I’ll provide the feet to put to it. Amen.
You know what?
He answered that prayer.
- I had a great prayer time one morning with my prayer partner, and she called later that day when she saw God answered our prayers (from that morning!).
- My sister sent me an inspirational video.
- I had a Zoom date with my brother’s family, and all five were there (which is no small feat because the younger ones have a lot of energy).
- My mom called repeatedly to check on me.
- I went on a long walk with my lovely neighbor who I am so thankful for (we both wore masks).
- Multiple people from church contacted me, and they even dropped off a cake!
More people to love. And, more people to love back.
The Deep Truth
I’m not going to lie here and pretend I’m a saint. The ignoramuses on social media irritate me with their constant complaining about the state of things. Just be quiet already. Yawn.
But, the truth is that if these complainers were bleeding on the OR table in front of me, I would try my absolute best to save them just like I would anybody else.
Because it’s not about who they are, it’s about who I am.
Am I the person who continues to love when people are unlovable? Am I the person who keeps giving when I feel empty? Do I offer support to those who are in need? Am I encouraging to the people around me?
No, not yet. But, I’m going to keep praying for more love until I get there.
#supportoneanother
I want to live counterintuitively. I want to support people, go to work and take care of people to the best of my ability, and love those God puts in my path.
Love,
K.
Author of Ten Iron Principles, Contributor in The Power to Make a Difference
Because it’s not about who they are, it’s about who I am. Oh yes! A sweet friend I’ve never met who called from states away the day my husband had a life changing surgery. I still tear up when I remember your kindness to me that day.
Kelly, I know this is hard. I’m praying for you.
Wow! It’s funny how what the smallest kindness can mean to someone. Thank you for your prayers. Day by day…
This gave me goosebumps! I know how you feel, as I’ve struggled in different seasons feeling like nobody cared enough to reach out, like I was an afterthought. I totally get you that it sounds pathetic, but I’ve learned just how real those emotions are and how God LOVES to comfort us and remind us His perfect love covers us. I’m so glad you saw Him working in your day after you changed up your prayer. That is such a powerful testimony!
It’s a horrible place to be in because you feel it and yet know it’s not true. I am thankful for God’s faithfulness through this!
K.A.
That was so convicting. Send me more people to love hasn’t even been on my radar. But the boo-hoo has. Thank you for nailing it for me. Your post was a blessing.
It was a total wake up call for me. Thank you for reading!
Thanks for this, Kelly. In the middle of Mother’s Day, I had a pity party. My kids are all far away. I haven’t seen family in months. I have been isolated, coming up from the depths to grocery shop and then going back in my cave. I need interaction…and social media is driving me nuts. I try to use it for good but I often get sucked under with all the bad vibes floating around.
So I prayed.
And He answered me too…
We skyped with our grands who live in Colorado while hubby cooked dinner (they are two hours behind us) and called it the Lao Yei Cooking Show…they loved it! They are 4,6, and 6. *Lao Yei is Mandarin for grandfather (or old man).
Our son and daughter in love called from Arizona. Sweet communion!
I so frequently get caught up in my own web, but God inspiring me to pray for more people…it’s been awesome.