I had an article published by Kingdom Winds entitled Seek First His Kingdom: What Does This Mean for Singles? Be sure to check out the site for other great content and enjoy!
Seek First His Kingdom: What Does This Mean for Singles?
People frequently reference Matthew 6:33 and “seek first His kingdom” in discussions about waiting for a potential spouse. But, for years, I had no idea what the verse meant! So, let’s dig in.
People frequently reference Matthew 6:33 and “seek first His kingdom” in discussions about waiting for a potential spouse.
“But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well” (Matthew 6:33 NIV).
But, for years, I had no idea what the verse meant!
Matthew 6:33 — “…seek first His Kingdom…”
In the above text, Matthew admonishes us to, “seek first His kingdom.” Let’s take a look at what this phrase both means and doesn’t mean.
First, what DOESN’T “seek first His Kingdom” mean for Christian Singles?
The truth here is that Matthew encourages us to grow closer to God. But, our relationship with Him is not meant to be a placeholder. For example:
“I will seek first His kingdom until I meet my spouse and then I can rely on him.”
Also, spending time with God isn’t meant to be a filler. As in:
“I will seek first His kingdom until there are other things on the agenda, like arranging dates, planning a wedding, and building a home together.”
Second, what DOES “seek first His Kingdom” teach believers who are dating?
On the contrary, the phrase conveys a pattern or a habit in our lives.
“Seek first His kingdom and His righteousness” indicates:
“Get yourself right with God first.”
“Your personal relationship with God is what will pull you through difficult times in your marriage. No person can withstand that responsibility.”
“Watch out you don’t make a future relationship your idol; put your faith in the God who is faithful.”
“Nothing can heal the hole inside except God, not even a husband or a wife.”
So, that explanation helps clarify the meaning, but the waters are still muddy. Thankfully, the psalmist offers further clarification on what it means to seek His kingdom.
“Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart” (Psalm 37:4 NIV).
When I first read this, I thought the verse meant, “if I delight in the Lord, He will give me what I want. If I draw near to Him, He will answer my prayers.”
However, God doesn’t always grant our desires. Instead, He places new desires in our hearts which reflect who we are to Him and who He is to us. (Did you get that?)
He doesn’t only grant the desires, He provides them.
“Give me the desires of my heart…” You see, what we long for changes as God cleanses and transforms our hearts. So, “seek first his kingdom” is showing us where our focus needs to be…not on our desires but on God.
Matthew 6:33 — “…all these things…”
Let’s move on to the second half of Matthew 6:33. The verse continues that if you “seek first His kingdom” then “all these things will be given to you as well.”
“All these things,” references what?
Previously, in Matthew chapter 6, God instructs us not to worry about life, food, drink, or clothes. He will provide for us as He does for every being in the world.
Now, catch this. God gives life, food, drink, and shelter in the same fashion He gives desires in Psalm 37. Both our material needs and our spiritual needs are part of God’s provision. When we seek His Kingdom, God works out the details…in ALL things.
As we grow in sanctification, our priorities change. Subsequently, we find God meets our new needs and desires in ways we could never predict.
So, how does this verse apply to singleness?
As Christian singles, we need to understand that a husband or wife cannot replace our relationship with God. He is not a temporary placeholder for a future spouse. That’s number one.
Secondly, we must seek after God to become whole in our relationship with Him. Then, our needs and wants for ourselves and our future mate, which are shaped by God, will be met and fulfilled through Him.
Happy seeking!
Love, K.
Author of Ten Iron Principles, Contributor in The Power to Make a Difference
Kelly, I appreciated your words from Matt. 6;33. Single again, I’m not waiting for another spouse, but I see your discussion of principles here, applying to whatever we are waiting for– could be a book contract, friendships, etc. In focusing on Matt 6:33–we will find contentment. Thanks for your post.
Very well said ma’am. In my own life; after a heartbreaking divorce, I tried even harder to find “the right relationship” for me. What I didn’t realize was that in finding my right relationship with God, He would guide me to be right with other matters. It was when I quit looking for a mate that God gifted me with my wife. She embodied everything I had dreamed of so long ago as a young fella. I had long forgotten the dream, and the prayers, but God didn’t. I jokingly say “God had to marinate me for about 15 years until I became tenderized enough to be deserving of the woman He had planned for me all those years ago.” Enjoyed your post immensely ma’am. Am smiling here; and praying God gifts you in the same way one day when you’re least expecting it. 🙂
Thank you! It’s all in His timing!
You are so right! Looking to God for fulfillment of our needs–not a spouse or a job or entertainment–is the only way we will ever be truly satisfied. Good message, K.A.
Awesome article!!! God gives us His desires, amen!
Preach it sister!!